I was in a world where forgiveness had happened. One of my exes, with whom we had the most vitriolic behavior to one another was standing in the cold, handing out warm boiled eggs to passersby, and letting them heat themselves near the fire of his companions as they peeled and ate. He was doing this out of pure kindness. Some passersby refused out of some kind of distrust or fear. I took one, peeled it and then took it along with me. As I left, I looked at my ex and said, “Thanks Brian,” and we smiled at each other knowingly, with brotherly love in our hearts. I went on my way happy in the knowledge that healing forgiveness had really happened and it felt like flying.
Then I came into a kind of shopping mall and I looked over at the Starbucks and saw my dad wearing a Starbucks apron. A barista job for an old retiree. He had only one arm but both legs (which is the opposite of how he left my world), but I didn’t seem to notice the difference.
Dad had a giggling flock of barista friends around him as he was checking his phone for who knows what, and I immediately had this sense that he was well loved at his job. I was so happy for him, knowing that this would mean the world to his sanguine spirit.
I ran up to hug him and my friend Delci ran up too, as she was his fellow barista (in this life, Delci is a homesteader in Montana). My dad hugged us both in a group hug and kissed the top of Delci’s head as if she were his daughter as much as me. I found that a little awkward and hoped she didn’t take it the wrong way.
In case you haven’t caught on, this was a vivid dream much like the dreamer in Pilgrim’s Progress experienced (though not nearly the great literary work that Bunyan’s genius produced).
I had this overall relieved feeling the whole time. It reminded me of this story about Nate Saint that I had recently been thinking on. I had heard it before, but it was recently brought back to the forefront of my mind by Delcie’s YouTube channel. The gist of the story and forgive me for any mistakes in my retelling, is that Nate Saint was killed as a missionary to the Aucas. Through his death, many in the village ultimately came to Christ. One of his former murderers came to Christ, and is quoted saying, “Nate Saint and I are going to see each other in heaven someday and throw our arms around each other and be so happy,”
Thinking on that story made me pray for Glory’s enemies. The ones who negligently refused to transfer her records to the hospital who wanted to give her a chance at the heart surgery she needed. The self worshipping doctors who put themselves in God’s place to decide if she deserved medical intervention or not. I imagined seeing them in heaven one day and “throwing our arms around each other and being so happy!”
I really hope this is the case and look forward to the relief in heaven when I see that all of God’s elect have made it.
I’m no agnostic Christian who believes forgiveness can exist without repentance. To misappropriate and completely corrupt an analogy by a certain taboo pastor who I am fond of, forgiveness and repentance aren’t like peas and carrots that can be valuable together or separate. Forgiveness and repentance are like cooking an eating. Forgiveness isn’t really a thing in the Bible without repentance. Loving your enemies and praying for God to forgive them, doesn’t mean that you forgive them without repentance. God sure won’t- unless you think every sinner in hell is forgiven. (To be as clear as mud, the north Idaho pastor used the analogy of cooking and eating for the word and sacraments not forgiveness and repentance but I liked the analogy for more than one pair so I nicked them. I digress).
“If we refuse to forgive those who repent, God won’t forgive us; if we forgive those who refuse to repent, we cheapen the blood of Jesus Christ, shed for repentant sinners.” P. Andrew Sandlin
“False prophets…speak only of God’s freeness to forgive. And are profoundly silent about repentance.” John Calvin.
Do me a favor today, and don’t be that person who looks at a lady with a dead baby and tells her to forgive, and yet has never bothered to tell those who kill babies to repent?
Do me another favor, pray for your enemies and bless those who curse you. Pray for God to forgive them. Take a deep inhale and imagine seeing your enemy in heaven one day and throwing your arms around each other and being so happy.
Nikki Schumacher 